Your Daily Slice

 

SIVAN 18

Approval

 

“Do your utmost to present yourself APPROVED to Elohim, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly handling the Word of Truth.” (2Tim 2:15, emphasis mine)

 

The Greek word that has been translated into the English word ‘approved’ is the word dokimos (Strong’s G1384), and while it does mean approval, it is also correct to attach ‘acceptable and pleasing’ to the meaning of this word.  As this verse signifies, we are to live our lives in such a manner as to always be pleasing to our Elohim, accepted and approved.  Most of us would agree that following the instructions found within Torah, loving our Elohim with everything in us (see Deu 6:4-9), and loving our neighbor as ourselves (Lev 19:16-18) qualifies as those things that are pleasing to our Creator.

There is, however, a dark side to this action of ‘seeking approval’, one that I was made aware of very recently.  What was brought home to me was this: If I am seeking approval and acceptance in my relationships with other people based upon my performance and actions, I am severely out of balance, and these relationships are doomed to failure. 

A big mouthful, isn’t it?  Let me provide an example:  not too long ago, there was a ‘suggestion’ being promoted by those of a liberal persuasion involving HOW we are to raise our children, starting as infants.  The insinuation was that we should ASK them what they wanted, such as did their baby want his/her diaper changed, what clothes did their one-year-old want to wear, and how about what did their two-year-old want to eat? I think most mothers would agree this idea will not always work.  Nonetheless, let us take a closer look at what is being implied here.  The parent is seeking the infant’s/toddler’s approval for an action that would be taken on the child’s behalf.  This type of behavior is setting the stage for a lifetime of ‘role reversal’, in that the parent is continually asking the child for their approval of anything and everything.

Perhaps the relationship of parent/child is the best one to examine.  We find several references throughout the Scriptures of Elohim being our Father (see Deu 32:6; 1John 3:1, just to name two), and we pray “Our Father, who is in the heavens.” (Mat 6:9) But nowhere within the pages of Torah do find any references that our Creator needs our permission and approval for what He chooses to do, or not to do, in regard to our lives.  As is quoted in our opening verse, we seek His approval.  Always. 

These are also the correct guidelines to follow concerning our own parent/child relationships, regardless of whether we are the child, or if we have children of our own.  Children are instructed to honor, respect and obey their parents (Ex 20:12; Eph 6:1-3); not the other way around.  Parents should never be in the position where they must seek the acceptance and approval of their children.  Unfortunately, we see much of this ‘role reversal’ playing out today, especially with adult children, in that they demand their parents act a certain way, do certain things, etc., all in order that they would win the acceptance and approval of the children.  Often, the reward for acceptable behavior is time allowed with grandchildren – brethren, this pattern of behavior is wrong, and if you are participating in such, you are not doing yourself, or your children, any favors.

It is necessary to recognize that this pattern is not limited to just our relationships with our children or parents; it can easily be applied to those in our immediate life circle.  Are there those individuals who demand that you be consistently pleasing them, continuously doing things to win their approval and acceptance?  This is not a healthy relationship.  Yes, we are called to serve (Gal 5:13); yes, we are called to live at peace and harmony with others, if it is at all possible (Rom 12:18; 14:19).  Be that as it may, there is no reference in Scripture that instructs us to be a doormat for someone else to wipe their dirty feet on.

There are only two people whose approval and acceptance I desire and seek:  my Creator and my spouse.  I do not need the approval of any others, not my children, nor that of my friends and acquaintances.  I will always endeavor to treat others with the honor and respect due them as one created in the image of Elohim, and I expect to be treated the same.  However, if the honor and respect I give out is not reciprocated, then there are those who possibly will no longer be a part of my life.

End of story.

 

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