Tammuz 12
Reproach
“Who does dwell in Your set-apart mountain?
… he who has not … lifted up a reproach
against his friend.” (Ps 15:1-3 ISR)
I have been on the
receiving end of ‘a reproach’, delivered by a family member, and it was ugly,
contemptuous, cruel, and quite frankly, it was a form of verbal and emotional abuse. It was much more than a rebuke; it was
shameful, and shaming. No person should
have to suffer through that, and especially coming from a close family member,
who is supposed to love you with the unconditional love that our Abba gives to
us. Sad, so very, very sad.
Reproach is defined
as finding fault with a person, to find blame, to censure.[1] Noah Webster gives a clear understanding of
how violent and ugly a reproach can be in his definition: “to charge with a fault
in severe language; Censure mingled with
contempt or derision; contumelious or opprobrious [an
insulting display of contempt] language towards any person; abusive reflections; as foul-mouthed reproach; Object of contempt, scorn or derision.”[2] As we can see from these definitions, there
is no hint of anything edifying or encouraging, nothing positive and uplifting,
that will come from a sever ‘reproach’.
And there are people that do this to their friends, let alone family
members? Oh, my, how our Elohim must be
grieved over this.
As I have
mentioned before, all of Scripture is written to a society that was based on
honor/shame. We are to honor and respect
one another, and we are not ever to deliberately
cause someone shame, especially a
fellow believer. The shame that comes
from such a severe verbal attack is traumatic, and the lasting effects of pain
and humiliation are difficult to deal with.
Been there, and still dealing with it.
Psalm 15 tells us
that those people who engage in this type of activity will not be welcome in
the place our Messiah King has gone to prepare for us (see John 14:2-3). Pretty well in black and white here, wouldn’t
you say? Let us all – including me –
resolve to soften our words, and respond with the gentleness, kindness, and
respect that our Creator expects from us.
I have made the
decision to no longer communicate with this particular family member, the one
that was rude, ugly, belligerent, and quick to bring a ‘reproach’. I do not care to have that experience
repeated. I believe that I am teachable, that I will take correction from those I
acknowledge as being over me, and I have no problem in doing so. To be on the receiving end of such ugliness I
would not wish on anyone – ever.
“The defiled one
destroys his neighbour with his mouth, But the righteous is delivered by
knowledge.” (Pro 11:9 ISR)
“Let the words of my
mouth and the meditation of my heart Be pleasing before You, O יהוה, my rock and my redeemer.” (Ps 19:1 ISR)
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