Your Daily Slice

Adar 22

Divorce

“And it has been said, ‘Whoever PUTS AWAY his wife, let him give her a CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE.’ “But I say to you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the matter of whoring, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a woman who has been put away commits adultery.” (Mat 5:31-32 ISR, emphasis mine)

“When a man takes a wife and shall marry her, then it shall be, if she finds no favour in his eyes because he has found a matter of uncoveredness in her, and he shall write her a CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE, and put it in her hand, and SEND HER OUT of his house …” (Deu 24:1 ISR)

The institute of marriage was created in the Garden of Eden, pure and sinless, and it is from the Book of Genesis that we find the original instructions concerning marriage: 

“Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:23-24 Amp, emphasis mine). 

 The word translated “cleave” (dâbaq, Strong’s #H1692) literally paints a picture of being welded and cemented together in such a way that nothing can come between you.  And this IS YHWH’s desire for marriage: first, that it would be carried out according to the guidelines of Torah, and second, that there would be no separation between the two individuals.

Marriage is to be a “covenant” relationship, always directing us towards the relationship between us and our future Bridegroom, Messiah Yeshua.  The word translated from the Hebrew into our word covenant is the word beriyt (Strong’s #H1285).  As with so much of the Hebrew language, a great deal is lost in translation, and this word means more than just a covenant, or an agreement.  It also portrays a relationship between individuals, an established and continually growing relationship, nurtured and cultivated.  The covenant between our Elohim and Abraham is one example of this, and the marriage covenant between a husband and wife is another.

Elohim designed the marriage in such a way that there would be the shedding of blood in the initial act of intimacy, sealing the covenant, making it one that is unbreakable.  We learn from Eph 5:25 that a husband is to love his wife with the same covenant commitment as our Messiah loves His body of believers, His Bride.  Verses 28 and 29 of chapter 5 speak of the husband loving, caring, and cherishing his wife as he does his own body – normally, people do not inflict pain and torment on themselves, and would consequently not do so to their mates.  Because of his caring love, the wife is then eager to obey and submit to the headship of her mate.

Because of the disobedience of Adam and Chavah (Eve), we know that sin – transgression of YHWH’s Torah - entered into the Garden of Eden, and corrupted everything, including the marriage relationship.  People’s hearts became totally selfish and self-centered, concentrating on personal fulfillment and gratification.  Turning their desires inward and becoming self-seeking, mankind was now hard and cruel toward one another.  Divorce, and remarriage, became permissible under Torah (Deu 24:1-4), though it was never YHWH’s original design.  However, an understanding of exactly what Torah says concerning divorce is needed before we can understand what our Master Yeshua addressed throughout the Gospels.

In Deu chapter 24, there are two separate actions taken against the wife that has not found favor: the sending away, or dismissing, and then the issue of the certificate of divorce.  Two different and distinct words are used in the Hebrew: Shlicha (Strong's #H7971), which means to send away, dismiss, or release, and sefer k’ritot (Strong's #H3748), which is the actual certificate of divorce. The reason the wife did not find favor is because of an "uncoveredness", for which the Hebrew word is ervah (Strong's #H6172), literally translated as nakedness, but implying an uncleanness due to any and all illicit or illegal sexual activity.  If the wife was merely “sent away”, she was not legally divorced, and could not re-marry.  Only with a corresponding “certificate of divorcement” would she be allowed to re-marry.

We find the same separate actions in the passage from Mat chapter 5.  Our Master Yeshua was again emphasizing the need for both actions to take place, and not just the one, the “putting away”.  Apparently, at that time, the norm was for men to “put away” (Strong's #G630) their wives, without the binding certificate (Strong's #G647), as evidenced in Mark 10:1-12.  We find in verses 11 and 12 of this chapter, Yeshua confirming the reason for both actions to be taken:  the “putting away” is not sufficient, it is not a legal release or divorce, and to re-marry without the “certificate of divorce” will constitute adultery (punishable by death).

In Matthew 5:31, Yeshua lists fornication (or whoring) as a reason for putting away and divorce.  The Word found here in the Greek is the word porneia (Strong's #G4202), from which we have our word “pornography”.  Porneia involves all illicit sexual activity, all perversions, including homosexuality, bestiality, and every form of incest (see Rom 1:18 through 2:8).  We can surmise that sexual abuse was well known during the days of our Messiah, even as it is today.

What about other forms of abuse: physical, mental, verbal, emotional?  Abuse of any form is wrong.  It is a violation to abuse someone who is made in the image of our Creator, and is also the temple of the Holy Breath of YAH.  For so many years, the westernized church has preached a doctrine that because “God hates divorce” (Mal 2:16), women (and even men!!!) have to stay married, regardless of the abusive situation they are in.  I do not believe this is correct.  Though the ideal marriage would be between two Torah observant individuals, it is unfortunate that most marriages never start that way.  However, even in these instances where forms of abuse are prevalent within a marriage, divorce should always be the last option – but it is a valid option.

Divorce is NOT the "unforgivable sin".  Yes, our Elohim hates divorce, for the trauma, pain, destruction, and strife that it generates, but to “blanket-ly” say that God hates all divorce is not correct.  Abraham was told in no uncertain terms to “put away” Hagar, the slave woman (mother of Ishmael) with whom he had a covenant relationship (see Gen 21:10-14).  In Ezra chapter 10, YHWH, through Ezra the priest, instructs the people of Israel to “put away” all of the foreign wives that they had taken to themselves during the time of the captivity – the reason for this "putting away" being, these wives were pagan and worshipped idols instead of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  We cannot be unequally yoked (2Cor 6:14).

There are men and women, brothers and sisters, who have been divorced, perhaps for the wrong reasons, and are living under terrible guilt and condemnation.  This guilt is not from our ABBA Father.  Run to ABBA; crawl up into His lap, and repent of whatever wrong you did.  There is still healing for all of the pain and trauma available, and deliverance from all of the bondage and damage that has been done.  Love covers, His grace and favor knows no limits, and His mercies are new every morning …

“If, then, the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”  (John 8:36 ISR)

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