ADAR 22
Divorce
“And it has been said, ‘Whoever PUTS
AWAY his wife, let him give her a CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE.’ “But I say to you
that whoever puts away his wife, except for the matter of whoring, makes her
commit adultery. And whoever marries a woman who has been put away commits
adultery.” (Mat 5:31-32, emphasis mine)
“When a man takes a wife and shall
marry her, then it shall be, if she finds no favour in his eyes because he has
found a matter of uncoveredness in her, and he shall write her a CERTIFICATE OF
DIVORCE, and put it in her hand, and SEND HER OUT of his house …”
(Deu 24:1)
The institute of marriage was created
in the Garden of Eden, pure and sinless, and it is from the Book of Genesis
that we find the original instructions concerning marriage:
“Then Adam said, This [creature] is
now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because
she was taken out of a man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his
mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become
one flesh” (Gen 2:23-24 AMPC).
The word translated ‘cleave’ (dâbaq, Strong’s H1692) literally paints a
picture of being welded and cemented together in such a way that nothing can
come between the two. And this is our
Creator’s desire for marriage: first, that it would be carried out according to
the guidelines of Torah, and second, that there would be no separation between
the two individuals.
Marriage is to be a ‘covenant’
relationship, always directing us towards the relationship between us and our
future Bridegroom, Messiah Yeshua. The word translated from the Hebrew into our
word covenant is the word beriyt (Strong’s H1285). As with so much of
the Hebrew language, a great deal is lost in translation, and this word means
more than just a covenant, or an agreement. It also portrays a relationship between individuals, an
established and CONTINUALLY growing
relationship, nurtured, and cultivated. The covenant between our Elohim and
Abraham is one example of this, and the marriage covenant between a husband and
wife is another.
Elohim designed the marriage in such a
way that there would be the shedding of blood in the initial act of intimacy,
sealing the covenant, making it one that is unbreakable. We learn from Eph 5:25
that a husband is to love his wife with the same covenant commitment as our
Messiah loves His body of believers, His
Bride. Verses 28 and 29 of chapter 5 speak of the husband loving, caring, and
cherishing his wife as he does his own body – normally, people do not
inflict pain and torment on themselves, and would consequently not do so to
their mates. Because of his caring love, the wife is then eager to obey and
submit to the headship of her mate.
Because of the disobedience of Adam
and Chavah (Eve), we know that sin –
transgression of Elohim’s Torah - entered the Garden of Eden, and corrupted
everything, including the marriage relationship. People’s hearts became totally
selfish and self-centered, concentrating on personal fulfillment and gratification.
Turning their desires inward and becoming self-seeking, mankind was now hard
and cruel toward one another. Divorce, and remarriage, became permissible under
Torah (Deu 24:1-4), though it was never Elohim’s original design. However, an
understanding of exactly what Torah
says concerning divorce is needed before we can understand what our Master
Yeshua addressed throughout the Gospels.
In Deuteronomy chapter 24, there are
two SEPARATE actions taken against
the wife that has not found favor: the sending away, or dismissing, and then
the issue of the certificate of divorce. Two different and distinct words are
used in the Hebrew: Shlicha (Strong's H7971), which means to send away,
dismiss, or release, and sefer k’ritot (Strong's H3748), which is the
actual certificate of divorce. The reason the wife did not find favor is because of an ‘uncoveredness,’ for which the Hebrew word is ervah (Strong's
H6172), literally translated as nakedness, but implying an uncleanness due to any and all illicit or illegal sexual
activity. If the wife was merely ‘sent away’ (Shlicha), she was not
legally divorced, and could not re-marry. Only with a corresponding “certificate of divorcement” (sefer
k’ritot) would she be allowed to re-marry.
We find the same separate actions in
the passage from Matthew chapter 5. Our Master Yeshua was again emphasizing the
need for both actions to take place,
and not just the one, the ‘putting
away.’ Apparently, at that time, the norm was for men to ‘put away’ (apoluō, Strong's G630) their wives, without the binding certificate
(apostasion, Strong's G647), as evidenced in Mark
10:1-12. We find in verses 11 and 12 of this chapter, Yeshua confirming the
reason for both actions to be
taken: the ‘putting away’
(apoluō)
is not enough, it is not a legal
release or divorce, and to re-marry without the “certificate of divorce” (apostasion) will constitute adultery (punishable
by death).
In Matthew 5:31, Yeshua lists
fornication (or whoring) as a reason for putting away and divorce. The
Word found here in the Greek is the word porneia (Strong's G4202), from
which we have our word ‘pornography’. Porneia involves all illicit sexual activity, all
perversions, including homosexuality, bestiality, and every form of incest (see
Rom 1:18 through 2:8). We can surmise that sexual abuse was well known during
the days of our Messiah, even as it is today.
What about other forms of abuse:
physical, mental, verbal, emotional? Abuse of ANY form is wrong. It is a violation to abuse someone who is made
in the image of our Creator. For so many years, the westernized church system
has preached a doctrine that because
“God hates divorce” (Mal 2:16), women (and even men!!!) must stay married,
regardless of the abusive situation they are in. I do not believe this is
correct. Though the ideal marriage would be between two Torah observant
individuals, it is unfortunate that most marriages never start that way.
However, even in these instances where forms of abuse are prevalent within a
marriage, divorce should always be the last option – but it is a VALID option.
Divorce is not the "unforgivable
sin". Yes, our Elohim hates divorce, for the trauma, pain,
destruction, and strife that it generates, but to “blanket-ly” say that God
hates all divorce is not correct.
Abraham was told in no uncertain terms to ‘put away’ Hagar, the slave woman (mother of Ishmael) with whom
he had a covenant relationship (see Gen 21:10-14). In Ezra chapter 10, Elohim,
through Ezra the priest, instructed the people of Israel to ‘put away’ all the foreign
wives that they had taken to themselves during the time of the captivity – the
reason for this ‘putting away’
being, these wives were pagan and worshipped idols instead of the God of
Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. We CANNOT
be unequally yoked (2Cor 6:14).
There are men and women, brothers, and sisters, who have been divorced, perhaps
for the wrong reasons, and are living under terrible guilt and condemnation.
This guilt is not from our Abba Father. Run to Abba; crawl up into His lap and repent of whatever wrong you
did. There is still healing for all the pain and trauma available, and
deliverance from all the bondage and damage that has been done. Love covers,
His grace and favor know no limits, and His mercies are new every morning …
“If, then, the Son makes you free, you shall be free
indeed.” (John 8:36)
©2025